• Mar 19, 2023
• wilmington, nc obituaries

Seriously this is skeeving me out. April 9, 2012, 1:15 pm. Marriages (or partnerships) are not secondary to parent-children relationships; nor are they primary. So it sounds like the mom here mustve been in a postiion to want and/or raise a child. He wants to get back with the LW (again, apparently). But I just don't know anymore. Overlappers: They start a new relationship before breaking up with you If youre going to have casual sex, there are some things you can leave to the goodwill of others and some where youve gotta be a little bit proactive. But early on, this is not an inevitable outcome, and if only one person wants the child, the other should be able to not be obligated. People in healthy relationships dont say that. No, but both partners have to accept the fact that having sex means that pregnancy might occur. 6napkinburger You knew he would not or could not be the man you wanted. Turns out that the bout of food poisoning she got after their anniversary dinner and the diarrhea that came with it messed with the effectiveness of her birth control pills. As for what you do: I personally would ask him to ask the woman to get a paternity test. You dont really get a say in this matter. If a woman wanted to choose to terminate the child, would she be less of a real woman for not stepping up to the responsibility? Really stupid. Where do stand on the fact that when a pregnancy occurs its only the woman who has to go through either an abortion or childbirth and the man never does either? Oops this was meant as a reply to Steve up there! No loss there. if she has a miscarriage because he's back with you, your fault. Lets start a familyyou know, if the condom doesnt work. Is the same thing going through a womans mind when she decides to have sex? If a man has sex with a woman he should be prepared for the possibility that it could result in child support payments. The fact that you just knew your boyfriend got another girl pregnant before you start dating him shows that both of you is lacking a good communication way. April 9, 2012, 4:44 pm. I think we can all agree that the safest thing for men to do is to simply masturbate alone, while wearing a condom. . And there are many things that can happen that make it even less effective, like forgetting a pill, taking antibiotics, etc. Its her body, there is a million reasons she might choose to have this child, even if she never so much as speaks to your prince again. Were looking at this situation through the eyes of his ex whos pissed off that he knocked up this other woman but seems pretty bound and determined to get back with him. im just annoyed that so many people (at least many of the LWs here) act as if birth control or std prevention isnt something they need to worry about. LW, your anger is misdirected. lets_be_honest Wanting nothing to do with his child, which like it or not seems to be coming, is not acceptable- and a mature girlfriend would help him to see that these are the cards hes been dealt, and that he now has to work with them. And more amazement with people who just cant live without a relationship with someone who has no concern about coitus with people outside of matrimony with people they just met.. People who say that are codependent, melodramatic, or 15. The argument is that Im on birth control. is not the same as I will not get pregnant from this sexual encounter. You know how babies are made. In order to build trust, the person must be trustworthy. Im questioning the inherent fairness of the law today. I think that one should be able to decide if one is ready to be a parent and, if not, make that clear when there is time to abort the pregnancy. April 10, 2012, 7:15 pm. April 9, 2012, 8:29 pm. April 9, 2012, 12:39 pm. . The fact that a child is adopted does not somehow guarantee the theyll be cared for. Why, my God, you could have hit a chid running out in the street. Or so so many of you all keep saying. I think Dan Savage an Santorum have some sexual tension though. I showed up late to the hot debate in the comments (damn you work lol), but to put this in perspective for me, I was born to relatively young parents and now at 25, my dad is a few years older then this gem of a man in this letter. Anthony Leonson LW- your boyfriend is scum. Idiots like the guy in the letter, dont. Its ironic that some of the same people who fire off insults left and right on this forum, feel so offended when someone simply disagrees with them. Top 49 Girlfriend Jokes 1. I brought my girlfriend home and introduced But women and children, in the context of child custody and support systems, end up in extremely unfortunate and unfair situations far more often. You dont want his problems. In the vast majority of cases, these relationships do not last long and serve solely to be a . He does have the right to change his mind about how involved hed like to be. When we got back together we had a lot of trust issues and found it hard to forgive one another. By the way, there was no implication that it makes it easy for the woman to get child support. Its such a heated issue, because everyone knows someone that has some sort of baby-mama-drama on one side or the other. Senior year of high school, you turn to your boyfriend and say the words hes been dying to hear I think Im ready. He responds with Great, Im totally ready to be a dad anyway. Uh, no, were using protection. No, I know. In the case where a woman goes to prison because she raped a kid, you can bet theyre going to hit her up for child support too. I know exactly what child support means, and you are discussing the post-birth situation, where there actually is a child who actually needs support. April 10, 2012, 6:34 pm. SpaceySteph She asked what to do with this guy. Well he will still have to pay child support. Just stay away from mens wallets. Crazy likes crazy. Hes scum because he abandoned a woman he impregnated.. She came first. Everything else aside, most of the guys in this thread are more upset about the sex part than they are about the child out of wedlock part. 8 Red Flags that Her Pregnancy is a Trap. Steve Kellmeyer And fools are welcome to the horror you and your ilk inflict upon them. And I think the LW is just as much of an ass or whatever other word you want to insert as the bf in question. They like to entrap men, too. But for someone more causal, that isnt really there as much. . Dont let him use you because his life is in chaos now. However, not once did I say anything like what youre implying. First of all, it can take a bad psychological toll on someone who doesnt want to have it in the first place. What kind of 40 year old cant live without their SO. But clearly this woman who is keeping her child DOES really want the child and is presumably prepared to handle all that comes with having a child. The fact that all this happened doesnt mean hes some despicable jackass.. Why do you think that is? They are calling him a scum for not taking any responsibility for happened, and they are calling the LW names for acting like her BF is a saint, and had nothing to do with making this baby. I feel no connection to my biological siblings, even though they desire a relationship with me. But she can also at any time change her mind and he has no recourse. he gets another girl pregnant while you are on a break, your fault. This is your CHILD. Youre the one asserting that its only one sex that experiences unfairness. Do you have any other questions? I might disagree to a minor degree with some of your points although, re-reading your reply, I dont really think so but thats a great summary, and also completely out of place in this thread because its so rational. caitie_didnt So sad that anyone would think its even necessary to implement such a system. The last 15 girlfriend jokes It's bro's before hoes, not bro's over your girlfriend. April 9, 2012, 10:46 am, Im not even sure how to address this letter, so I guess step by step is a good way to go. I know plenty of women who are exemplary parents. and now he must deal with those consequences. Guess what LW? Which, if youll recall, honey, was what we were discussing in the first place before you sidetracked us. lets_be_honest Now that that lesson is over do you have any other questions? It amazes me how people can say things like That whore slept with my boyfriend! and keep a straight face. Dee S. Advocate There is a chance it isnt his. He doesnt want anything to do with his child? That still has no impact on my main points. That means from a mental, obvious, and circumstantial standpoint, the girl is at the disadvantage. Oh, and I dont hate women who get child support. So give yourself the time you need to work through this experience. I blocked his number, but 2-3 weeks laterhe was calling me from his job, calling me through Facebook, and calling me from a private number. There is no inherent unfairness in current laws child support is gender-blind. April 10, 2012, 7:07 pm. (Well assume she is pro life for non religious reasons because Im not sure why a religious person would be fine with banging after two minutes thats a whole other can of worms). Painted_lady Consider that this child should be the most important thing in his life, more important than you. The law does, because once the child is here, through no fault of its own, it needs to be supported in order to have a successful life and successful children are in the best interest of all of society. Imagine that you get to design a law that will allow fairness no matter which of these happens. After a breakup, Bird said, some people just need "an emotional cutoff and want to remove all evidence of their ex from their life.". any story where a man was forcibly stopping someone from getting an abortion- Yes, that is terrible of the man in question. 6napkinburger It may be more than a coincidence that your girlfriend or wife announced she was pregnant right after you broke up with her. doesnt she have friends to tell her just say no to neon macrome?), we judge who our friends date and marry, we judge everything, usually based on what we would do. I am sorry, but that is just dumb. But you were split up for 2 months and cant bear to live without each other yet he didnt waste any time jumping into bed with someone he barely knows? What Your Breakup Will Tell You About Your Ex-Girlfriend - Luvze He told me he will obviously be paying for it but wants nothing to do with her OR the baby.. 3) A parent leaving their child with the other parent, especially one they barely know, isnt the same as putting a child up for adoption. [The most dangerous place on Earth to live is in an American womans womb. Considering the fact that I know far more gay guys having sex (and lots more of it, with more partners, too) than I do straight people and I can honestly say none of my good gay friends have ever magically come down with HIV, yet I can name 8 people who against all odd just happened get themselves or their lovers knocked up Seriously. If youd like to share you e-mail, we could correspond more about this. Not that hes upset about the situation but furious with this woman. im not disagreeing with you. reader, lisa4mark+, writes (15 May 2008): A In my opinion, even if the baby turns out to not be his, hes already shown his true colors; and theyre pretty yellow. April 10, 2012, 7:06 pm. While I grant you that the lack of control for men once a pregnancy occurs is, in a sense, unfair, I think there is unfairness on both sides of the issue. His? Women have complete reproductive autonomy, but as far as I know it is impossible to become impregnated without a man somewhere in the equation. During the time we both were studying for the bar, we were on a break. April 10, 2012, 2:42 pm. For me, the joy of the act is not actually giving it, but the enjoyment your partner gets. For whatever reason that may be. If you dont want to potentially end up with a kid with a woman you cant stand, dont have sex with her. Should you be frustrated at the situation? However, RR, Ill assume that every time youve ever had sex, it has been with someone you wanted in your like as a co-parent and that it was at a time in your life that a child would have been welcomed. Some said he deserved the label because he exposed the LW to STDs. Continuing along the lines of what John Rohan said above (maybe way above, because Im at work and my reply will take some time to type surreptitiously): The LW and the guy broke up. I honestly dont believe any of this will ever be an issue for you. April 10, 2012, 6:26 pm. April 9, 2012, 8:29 pm. However, if a woman has sex with a man, she can make all the choices and decisions, force palimony, and essentially treat that man as their financial slave for the next 18 years. Hes made a choice. April 10, 2012, 9:34 am. Read some of the most popular Dear Wendy posts here. bittergaymark Chuck Pelto Oh, in a perfect world, kerrycontrary How about, The woman who decided to keep the child knowing that the man was not interested in being a father and providing support?. Solved. Wether he likes it or not, shes keeping the baby. Here 13 common reasons guys start missing and try to go back to their ex. But woman, grow the hell up. And she doesnt have to be a liar to have been on antibiotics, thus rendering the pill largely ineffective. Chuck Pelto iseeshiny Likewise, you could find a wealth of men who paid for children who werent theirs. How the heck do you administer THAT?! female we were truley in love. He sounds like bad news. Pay[ing] for it is responsible, even if its not what the mother of the child, or potentially the child, may initially want. Everyone was always on the pill, or the condom broke and plan b didnt work, or things like that. He wants nothing to do with her OR the baby? Thats all I can really offer. I know youve been in a tough situation and the fact that you and your daughter came out of it the amazingly awesome people you are shows that all a kid needs is an amazing mother who wants to provide for her kid at whatever cost to herself. Is it Dear Wendy gender wars with the emotional females leaping to conclusions and bullying the open minded fair males who dare to object to name-calling and double standards? we are making DW history, here, people!!! Another thing that happened in my friends case is that at the same time that they signed things to waive his parental rights, the mother had the child adopted by her fiance and then her fiances name was put on the birth certificate from the get go (though, this was all done behind my friends back and that part was done without his consent, nor was even discussed). That is lie fed to naive girlfriends/wives. lets_be_honest Sleeping with someone so soon after a breakup? So tough shit. You add nothing to the conversation but name-calling. Watch your language young lady! Also, HUGE RED FLAG. In fact, step aside from the situation (my advice to you). Originally i had used much more crass language and forgot to delete the apology ooops! What a joke. Tough shit. female Because one of the known outcomes is happening to him and hes pissed at someone else. I also think hes kind of a jerk for having sex with someone he cant stand. So, really, I guess I disagree with the majority of the comments here. Your bf cant stop her from having the baby. Thats seriously not cool. April 9, 2012, 12:24 pm. My hand has never been comfortable in cooler weather ever since.. At a minimum LW needs to take a wait and see attitude. He could be upset (and who wouldnt be) if he didnt want it but she was keeping it anyway. Ever. CollegeCat He can take all the risks he wants its his choice. While I stand by my statements about this woman being a total idiot, etc., and the fact that I dont think anyone was calling him scum for having sex with someone after he broke up with his girlfriend, I will say that I agree with the idea that its unfair for guys that they have no say in keeping or aborting but will be on the hook for child support even if they wanted the mother to have an abortion. Beyond that, no one really cares that he jumped in bed with another woman right after they broke up only to decide that he cant live without her after getting said woman pregnant. Any 40 year old man thats in the habit of jumping into bed with a woman who claims shes on BC after knowing her for 2 min is so dirty, Id be afraid to touch him much less get back in a relationship with him. I totally understand. Oh, me too! I am willing to give this guy a teeney, tiny shred of doubt that he is in shock and is responding poorly, but that he could be a decent guy who will come around wants he gets his head around the situation. Susie is on birth control but they still discuss what names their eventual children will have. Painted_lady Having the right to do something OBVIOUSLY doesnt mean its always a good idea. However, sure, something unexpected and life-altering happened to him, and hes upset, so surely hes an idiot. Hes so full of sh*t, I bet his eyes are brown. You know, I dont have much patience this morning, so I (somewhat) apologize if my reply reeks of snark.. Hes not a victim, unless she raped him. Honestly, I did grow up craving a strong male presence in my life and have always gravitated towards male professors or bosses who wee willing to play the role of mentor. Pregnancy by deception? Iwannatalktosampson Woman are more easily able to get custody and so are more likely to get support. April 9, 2012, 9:16 pm. It is legal. pretty sure he is actually an extreme pro-lifer who is playing into his rhetoric backwards. Abstinence is 100% effective, just saying. And finally , yes, I do think he should have some right to what happens to that pregnancy, and yes I do think that trapping someone by getting pregnant is repulsive, and so yes, I can understand his anger at the woman if that is what is happening. If he was the kinda guy that decided he wanted to be in his childs life every 5 years when it was convenient and made promises that he never kept and lost interest after a while, that would be seriously damaging to that childs sense of self-worth. (and I hate that C-word.but LW, you deserve it). We were apart for over five years when he announced he was becoming a father, and even though all that time had passed and despite my happiness with my new husband, it still conjured up a lot of . or if shes just done too many drugs or something and her brain is rotting away. Regardless of the law which I think is enforced far more often than not it seems wrong to me to argue that men have no control over whether a child is born but are legally bound to pay child support, whereas women can end the pregnancy or put the child up for adoption. I get owning up to your responsibilities in an unwanted pregnancy, but you cant really think that is going through every non-idiot males mind when he gets ready to have sex.

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we broke up and he got another girl pregnant

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